High on the scales, Low in mood.

I feel like I have been in a strange daze for a few weeks. We have all been there, struggling to sleep, not wanting to eat healthily. I am sure you all agree that it’s much more pleasurable and easier to order a takeaway or get a slice of delicious cake than organise healthy salads and recepies that are low calorie and tasty!

I have been averaging 4 hours sleep for the past two weeks. It has definately had a negative effect on my eating habits. I’ve been stuffing myself with mainly chocolate and Rainbow cookies…which I think we’re invented to torment me personally. I bloody love ’em! Damn you little delicious tasting morsels from hell! Anyway, I digress. Does anyone else feel that they can only get the healthy eating right if everything else in life is ok? If the house is sorted, if the love life is dealt with, the kids are happy. It is only then that we can be consistant with making healthy eating choices. ( I’m convincing myself it’s not really a choice but aliens have programmed our brains to only eat naughty foods! I’m joking but it actually doesn’t feel like a choice sometimes)

Who can honestly say then, that all aspects of their life are sorted? I certainly can’t. Lack of sleep and feeling run down have led me to eat shit and do approximately zero exercise, unless you can count opening the fridge door or removing the lid from the ice cream exercise!

So having checked the scales I am now 12.11. HOW???? I feel so disgusted in myself whilst trying to be body positive and embrace myself at all sizes…it’s a mind fuck!

My boobs have gone from a B cup to a DD in weeks…. All the lose skin I had from losing weight has been padded out again. Not such a bad thing but my bras no longer fit!

I am really trying to stay positive. Any tips people?

As you know, I joined the gym recently…I haven’t been. I just can’t get my head around making that first step. I keep telling myself that I will go tomorrow, when tomorrow comes around I feel too tired or too ill. Excuses.

Many people who suffer from eating disorders and Mental Health issues will agree that motivation is a real key to progress. The less we do something, the less we feel we are succeeding, the less motivated we feel, so the circle continues. So why not make that first step? I hear you say… I cannot answer that. If I could then life and being healthy and happy would be so much easier.


2 thoughts on “High on the scales, Low in mood.

  1. Emma Greenall says:

    Hey Tam, look at how far you have already come on your journey! Don’t ever lose sight of that.
    I’m not going to try and give you advice as you probably know all the things you need to do as well as know all the things to say back in retaliation to the suggestions made! I know because I am in the same boat as you. However what I do know is that nothing anyone says will make a difference. You made the choice to embark on this life changing journey because it’s what YOU wanted to achieve, not because of others. That’s the same for finding your motivation again; only YOU can find it.
    There will come a point though when something will just click. You will know when it happens.
    Make one small positive change, embrace how great it feels and you will remember how damn good it is to be in control again.
    I love reading your blogs Tam, they are raw, real and brave. Keep writing and keep on your journey beautiful xx


    • Moonchild Vintage Madame says:

      Thanks Emma. Your support has always been unwavering no matter how long we go without seeing each other. I am making small steps a little at a time and even just feeling happier at the moment is an achievement, and actually when all said and done, the biggest one! xx


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